Ever wondered why you like to be in control? You may not be a ‘control freak’ but if you don’t have somewhat of a control issue then you are probably not fully human!
We have an innate desire to control our environment, our lives, relationships and, well, pretty much everything! In turn we fall in the trap of things controlling us; our money, our performance, habits, desires and, well, pretty much anything!
Yet, if we could resist the slightly freakish internal control demand for a moment we might discover some powerful tools that will break this control issue.
In the words of Clay Scroggins in his book ‘How to Lead in a World of Distraction’ you need to ‘Turn down the noise long enough to be curious about what’s inside of you.’ As we turn down the distracting white noises around us, even the sub-conscious noises of task-achievement, device curiosity, the need to be ‘in control’ we become self-aware enough to know we need to adjust something.
But there are some simple yet profound ways we can break our control issues:
The need to control in relationships (in work, marriage or friendships) is broken through trust (delegate, be vulnerable, and believe in others).
The control of money is broken through acts of extreme generosity. When was the last time you gave outside of your comfort zone?
The desire to control our emotions and spiritual sphere is dealt with by humility. Humility is willing to say ‘I don’t always have it all together’, ‘I’m okay with needing God’, ‘I don’t have to be able to do it all, bear it all, I am learning to lean in and have a healthy level of dependency’.
It has been my habit for many years to practice biblical meditation and prayer every morning. Filling my mind with what God has to say about life, the heart, work, the world and wisdom. And to surrender in a place of prayer. Humility breaks our human control issue. In the context of God we become more self-aware, and have the ability to adjust and become what God has wired us to become.
This is a glimpse of how my routine looks :